ten things...

Portsmouth
1 'Hello Sailor' activities have been tried there in training footy style, since they first attempted dry docking (circa 1500) as an exploratory method without alternative floating balls.
2 One time Admiral the Duke of Buckingham was murdered in 1628. Apparently he critically lost the toss but anyway shaped like 4-3-3 sheets to the wind and then went down with all hands in a 10 man wall.
3 Nelson took a side from Victory to play down the Iberian coast and absolutely murdered their formation. He all but had his hands on the trophy when they caught him, with a blind side penalty although definitely armless. He gamely rallied as men sang, 'play up Pompey'.
4 In 1898 Pompey citizens were like-minded enough to set up a football club and buy a plot at Fratton for their ground. Trouble was they built it east-west and over 100 years later wanted to alter things It's claimed just because those new sofas wouldn't fit in the other way round!
5 After WW1 as a Southern League club, Portsmouth eventually pottered into the Third Division and this kicked off a rise to immediate er, mediocrity.
6 During twenties and thirties there was a gradual climb up the rigging into div1. But just when it was all yo hoho and a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the crow's-nest, WW2 arrived exactly on cue.
7 The fifties were very good for Portsmouth. It was a post-hostilities generation but with a team of local lads, rather than demobbed jolly jack tars. Whatever, they quickly cleared the proverbial decks with plenty of winning action.
8 By end of the seventies Pompey were floating in div4 and even their manager had a heart attack. It was low tide and there was also a SoS Pompey campaign to get life-boat cash to ride out the storm.
9 In 1996 Venables was running the joint and doubling as Aussie coach. It was all an upside-down world of one set of rules for them and another for a sunken, if not rotten hulk.
10 Things didn't appear too healthy when later manager Alan Ball had his club car repossessed and Administrators took charge. Who or what could possibly save them from such a monsterous sea change?