10 things...

Burnley
1 They're right up in the real north, on some grim Turf Moor land.
2 It's so remote they've got the motorway to nowhere, off that road to hell (M6).
3 Just a small Norman Doomsday Book town in... Townley Hall, a nearby Lancashire lord of the manor house.
4 We nicked their Hall's chapel altar, until retrieved from the Convent of Notre Dame in Sussex - well, it also had a FCUK!
5 Something hazy about drinking red Bordeaux in nearby Clayton le Moors on an away trip weekend involving claret and light blue.
6 Nobody mention a bully of a butcher, one time Lord of a founding football club and original dirty northern b*st*rd.
7 It was hard 'pull' around there, when women went to Potts for Harry, a local hero and man of their magic moment.
8 Burnley has a lot of old silverware but not won lately. The quote goes something like, 'the geography is too small, history too big'.
9 Why don't they ever seem to go down to League 1 in the great north - south divide?
10 Yes, remember now.... see 2, 5 & 7 above, so went to Blackpool instead.